Look Beyond the Quotes on MLK Day

Let’s start with a survey. I promise it won’t take long.

I’ve predicted some of your demographic information and I think I’ll be correct on most of them.

How did I do?

Just one more task before I connect the dots.

Go to your most frequently used social media apps and look at the accounts you follow.

What do you notice? Any similarities?

white women, you might have noticed that the accounts you follow are those of other white women. You see, it’s no surprise that I can predict your demographic information. I identify as a cis, white woman, so the people in my circle likely identify that way too.  

Regina Jackson and Saira Rao refer to this phenomenon as the white cocoon, in their 2022 publication, White Women: Everything You Already Know About Your Own Racism and How to Do Better.

This powerful quote, only four pages into the preface, was a mirror for me. 

“You have created safe white spaces in every pocket of your life– your home, your neighborhood, your workplace, your kids’ school, your college experience, your vacation– safe white spaces that make it nearly impossible for you to see your complicity in the system that keeps Black, Indigenous and brown people in our places, which is beneath you (xviii).”

I unlocked my iPhone— my white besties and I, the wallpaper.

white creators filled the screen as I scrolled my podcast feed. white perspectives followed by more white perspectives.

The Instagram App opened. Five rows and three columns of white faces stared back at me.

white female celebrities with their white football player boyfriends

white women sharing about their late diagnosis ADHD. 

white chiropractors (really good looking ones 😍) with practices in Orange County, CA.

Glennon Doyle and her wife, also white, telling me I can do hard things

Childless white women amazed by what a water flosser can do. 

white teachers flaunting meticulously curated classrooms– while failing to mention how much was paid out of their own pockets. 

white actresses posing with their white co-stars.

white authors promoting books written from their white points-of-view.

As realization paired with the feelings it triggered, the illusion I’d been holding onto was shattered.

I had nestled myself into the familiarity of white faces, white voices, white culture– or lack thereof. 

I, too, spun my cocoon around the one-sided narratives and vanilla familiarity, but unlike a caterpillar, it wasn’t for development.

Instead, I clung to the flame of assumed protection. Protection from what? OH…the so-called protectors.

The part they don’t want us to know is that the actual threat I face- that we face, and have always faced, is white supremacy. 

Like sugar-coated poison, it has insidiously embedded itself in every system we know–disguised as patriotism, tradition, morals, law. 

We have all been infected by white supremacy. Whether we acknowledge it or not is a different story. The damage goes unnoticed by us privileged folks, easily ignored, due to the windowless cocoons that we spin.

Doechii said it best– “Denial is a River.” 

Innocent inaction and delusion allows the dominance to continue until it eventually corrupts our perception of reality. 

Reading the book White Women forced me to question my beliefs and acknowledge that despite my every attempt at being anti-racist, cocooning allowed me to avoid looking outside of my whiteness and considering a different perspective.

Today, the third Monday of January, we honor & celebrate Dr. MLK Jr. 

Social media will show you inspirational quotes from his most popular speeches. A smiling photo, splattered with his powerful words about love. 

Similar to my purpose for reading, I’ve challenged myself to look beyond the cherry-picked quotes and whitewashed narratives sprinkled throughout this day. Learning about Dr. King from the perspective of the oppressed rather than the perspective of the oppressor was critical for me.

We have to listen to the voices of the oppressed; and not just when it’s a national holiday or Black History Month.

Some of my favorite creators to learn from on Instagram are @feminist @ckyourprivilege @ocjusticeinitiative @kkellyyoga

I offer to you the idea that a multitude of things can be true at once.

You can challenge your beliefs and do so from a place of love and compassion for each version of yourself. 

You can be trying your best and be missing a key piece of the puzzle–perspective. 

What might you do that would allow yourself to gain perspective?

Share your thoughts and questions in the comments